A Whiff of Europe

By Nimisha Mittal 5 July 2009 437 views 14 Comments

Europe is an adult’s gingerbread house. It is made of gelato dreams and beer fantasies, made better (or worse, depending on your perspective) by movies such as A Roman Holiday and Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge.

Which does not mean that Europe is not the magical land that everyone claims it to be. Let us assume, for the sake of argument, that Hansel and Gretel’s gingerbread house exists. Santa Claus exists. And magical Europe exists as well.

But if you go looking for the gingerbread house in a tour bus with, say, a dozen rowdy kids and a tour manager who was probably a prison guard in a past life, who lets you off at famous sights along the way such as the Eiffel Tower, the Rhine Falls, the Big Ben, for only 30 minutes at a time, sufficient time to hop off the bus, take a blurry photograph, grab a souvenir, do a power-walk through the surrounding areas, and hop back on the bus, you will hardly be described as being the happiest camper when you do reach the gingerbread house of your dreams.

Wisecracks for centuries have been raving about how it is the journey and not the destination that matters. And guess what, they’re actually right.

Over just 11 days, my tour group covered Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Belgium, France, and England. I made a wish at the wishing fountain in Rome, straightened up the Leaning tower of Pisa in the characteristic tourist pose, got a view of Switzerland from its highest point, and saw the famous statue of a little kid pissing in Belgium. I visited Harry Potter’s enigmatic Platform 9 ¾ at King’s Cross Station in London, I saw a man churn out a figure of gorgeous fish from molten glass in Venice’s Murano Glass factory, and I tasted the famous Black Forest cake in Germany’s original Black Forest itself.

But my Roman Holiday was mostly spent inside the bus, looking left and then right, as our tour guide pointed out Rome’s various sights. We passed right through Zurich, while everyone screamed at the driver to stop. There was no time to climb to the top of the Leaning Tower, no time to explore the vast expanse of the Vatican church, no time to go parasailing, or gondola-riding, or to sit down and have a fancy meal on the roadside in Paris.

For most of the trip, I felt like a dog on a leash, with a master who insisted on yanking me away the minute I found something amazing to sniff at.

In conclusion, to err is human, but to buy a tour package is idiotic.

Below is a collection of pictures the author was able to capture when she wasn’t thinking of vicious ways to ruin the tour company

14 Comments »

Priyanka said:

That’s really sad. To get to go to Europe but still not be able to enjoy it the way you’d want to.

If it makes you feel any better, I really love reading your articles and the witty things you have to say. Beautiful pictures!

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Nimisha Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 6:46 am

Thanks Priyanka - it does make me feel better.
So much better, in fact, that I think I’ll go treat myself to some gelato.

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# 6 July 2009 at 8:46 pm

Shreenath said:

Great article on the ironic checklist target of most tour-buses! Nice writing Nimisha!

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# 7 July 2009 at 4:42 pm

yezi said:

The bus tour only gets better when you are so tired from the waking up at dawn, the sleeping on the train at night, and the walking from point A to B (all famous and worth of lots of photography); then relaxing on the upper deck, this “magical” Europe you see, it moves right in front of your eyes.

[Reply]

Nimisha Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 6:29 am

It moves right in front of your eyes, and then disappears with a ‘poof’…

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# 9 July 2009 at 12:07 am

Mana said:

That’s why you don’t go on a tour! You go backpacking with your friends, which shall be planned when they are no longer broke But You can’t deny the fact that best part of your trip was being with your family

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Nimisha Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 6:45 am

The best (and worst) part.
I’m joking. Really.

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# 9 July 2009 at 7:30 pm

Ankit said:

Thanks for the advice!

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# 10 July 2009 at 11:38 am

abhimanyu (manu) said:

aaawww….no para sailing sorta adventure must bored you….but i ges u had an amazing trip….i love the way uve penned it all….hehe

[Reply]

Nimisha Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 7:12 am

Ah yes. The next time, I will go para-sailing with a vengeance. Trip was amazing no doubt - how many people get to whine about a trip and get away with it?

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# 13 July 2009 at 10:15 am

abhimanyu (manu) said:

aaawww….no para sailing sorta adventure must’ve bored you….but i ges u had an amazing trip….i love the way uve penned it all….hehe

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# 13 July 2009 at 10:16 am

Rama said:

Nimisha,Splendid! I like the way you pen your thought down. Look at the positive aspect. How many really get to see what you saw, So stop whining about it!

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# 20 July 2009 at 10:20 am